Stressors - the gifts they bring

Dear ones ~
As we swim through the barrage of pain, suffering, overwhelm, and divisiveness, we can choose to stay as we are, or we can choose to find new ways to address our internal and external choices. 

My preferred way - turning to growing as much as possible, so we can ever move towards love and integrity, in all parts of our personality in all possible ways. 

This is part two in dealing with Triggers. I learned from a facebook friend that a better term is Stressor - trigger most applies to someone with PTSD and a serious reactive response.

Part 1 - Triggering Season

I know you care about the world and the people around you, and perhaps even those people you do not know or see. Your big heart matters, and your response to suffering matters. 
 

The gift of these Stressors - they are not actually the cause of the emotions - but our reaction shows something's stuck. Emotional inflammation alert!

The invitation: look inward and find your personal source of inflammation. 

This personal gift of inflammation-information, how is it able to help you?

• Showing you a time in your life when you truly felt powerless – childhood for example – and today’s event is touching that button?

• Or is it a mirror, to show you how some of your inner parts mirror the outer situation? (This rarely matches exactly, sometimes pointing to ways one does the same thing to oneself.)

• Or a longing of a way to live differently, more in line with your deeper values and purpose? 

What are your thoughts and experiences in dealing with stressors and triggers? How else do you experience stressors helping you?

I intend to send one more newsletter on this topic, exploring more of the power of the You-turn. 

With love for our growing pains and big hearts,
Marta
 

These words by Cate Montana are a wonderful addition to this post:

"That we are at the time and place in history where it's imperative to focus on the only choice that matters: Expanding in consciousness to become the New Human, turning away from factionism, groupism and fear, manipulation and controversy, and, yes, poli-tricks and anything else that creates division, hatred and extremism.

The only way out of the trap that's been set for us is to follow the sage advice of Albert Einstein who pointed out that change cannot happen unless there is a change in the consciousness of humanity.

Divide and conquer is the oldest play in the book."

More about the You-turn coming soon as a way to opt out of the divide and conquer playbook!

(Photo by Erin East on Unsplash)

Triggering season

Tis the triggering season. 

Are you feeling everything amped up in America these days? The upcoming election shines light on our many dysfunctions.

The energy, from where I sense it, is heightened, chaotic, angry, moving fast, destabilizing. It’s easy to get swept off our feet by the constant changes, announcements, attacks, conventions, and social media framing.

This intensified energy affects us all - and has impacts on all our interactions, not just conversations and beliefs about politics.

You, my friend, might be caught up in this too, getting triggered. 

Feeling charge and certainty that others are wrong.

And believing that blaming and shaming others might somehow help.

I hear you. I hear that you care. I hear that you want to help. You're right that our society is quite sick. You are sensing something important. Your experience matters.

However.

 Blaming is a big warm blinking sign, inviting you inward. 

Blaming others is a signal of feeling provoked, angered, and probably also vulnerable and scared

And it’s not effective.

Have you ever been blamed or shamed into a whole new outlook on life? Does that vibe entice you into wanting to open yourself, to open your mind, to change?

I know this position well. I am the queen of blame. I have been self righteous for more years of my life than not. I have felt extremely justified in all my high and mighty positions – those other people are obviously stupid and WRONG. Unlike me, who apparently knew it all. At age 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40...

And then, knocked upside the head by the covid era, that no longer worked for me. The othering and shaming of that time prompted something new in me.

I made a vow to evolve beyond this dualistic way of thinking and behaving, that of good/bad, right/wrong, to find the deeper pattern underneath it all. It doesn’t mean there isn’t evil out there, but there is something more vast than the evil, something beyond the things that I believe are bad and wrong.

I’m realizing just now, that it’s not about completely throwing out the right/wrong concept – but it’s adding the layer beyond dualism. We still need discernment. Not everything is okay or good for a person or for society. It’s building upon the dualism to bring another dimension and another layer to wisdom. 

On a walk just now, I had a little laugh at how I want people to get what I'm getting, to see how they are "wrong" for blaming people for being wrong. Hahaha, it's so tempting, isn't it? It's so very easy to get sucked into this blame game!

I'm a work in progress with all of this too.

To start, just noticing if you are in the blame game is very helpful awareness. Awareness is always the first step. 

Next essay will have more suggestions on what to do when pulled into the blame tornado. That blame tornado has quite the force and the pull. When we take ourselves out of it, it takes some of the energy out of the collective, entrenched blaming too. 

With love for all of us, all of our humanity, and our big hearts that are yearning for the more beautiful world we know is possible!
marta

PS - Photo by Dejan Zakic on Unsplash

The modern world asks so much of us

Who gets overwhelmed at all that you need to do to really care for yourself?
          {me - raising my hand}

Therapy, energy work, medical stuff, physical exercise, eating healthy.

Not to mention, earning a living, keeping up with your passions, taking care of children or elders, maintaining relationships and friendships, neighborhood involvement, politics....

Dang, it's just too much. 

Our culture truly is not geared towards health on so many levels. 

Which is beyond frustrating.

Naturally, we look for the remedies.
I daresay most of us wish for finding
the one thing that will take care of it all,
that will make life and living better. 

At different times in my life I've turned to exercise, yoga, acupuncture, herbs, paleo diet, nervous system regulation tools, sound baths, biofield tuning, improv classes, eating lots of chocolate, and so on.

Internal Family Systems became my one and only for a while, but then I had to work through some anger when I realized it couldn't do it all for me. 

One of the cool things about being alive these days is the plethora of healing and growing tools. We have so many resources and amazing creative people on purpose and passion for helping humanity.

It might be equally overwhelming to discern which tools are for you. 

What works for you may not work for me, as you know.
What works today may not be the thing tomorrow. 

Timing in life and personality have so much to do with what methods work best for each person.

Here's what I offer, and what consistently calls to me:
 

• IFS (Internal Family Systems) Welcoming All Parts. Such a relief to know and be with every inner part of a person, knowing each one truly has a positive intention. The most thorough practice for self love that I know, bringing healing and potential to every aspect of a person.
   

• AuraTransformation. This energy process leapfrogs you forward, so it's like the growth and integration from a bunch of years of therapy, in 2 sessions, and blossoming over the coming year. Tuning to the Crystal energy enhances balance and equanimity, plus extra oomph for your purpose. 
   

• Emotion Code. This energy method is deceptively simple. So simple my skeptical parts were on high alert for a number of sessions. But it kept helping, and I kept coming back for more. Releases trapped emotions and imbalances with ease and laser precision. Trapped emotions/energy are at the root of so many of our troubles and discomforts in life. 

IFS + AuraTransformation + Emotion Code = power packed.  You can get to your deep core wounds faster, relieve them and transform them with more ease. You build your self trust and capability with authenticity on all levels - no bypassing, puffing up or faking it. 

The reason for releasing and healing old emotional baggage and traumas, is so that we can step more and more into the truth of who we are - 
humans connected to the Divine,
with the divine spark in all of us,
creator beings who have agency in this life,
with all its challenges and gifts. 

 I am currently offering first sessions of the Emotion Code for free. If cost for continued sessions is a barrier to you, you can learn how to do the Emotion Code through the book, which is how I learned and used it for the first few months.

Warmest wishes for your growing, expanding, and evolving path in life!
Marta

PS - Photo by Warren Umoh on Unsplash

Your relationship to change?

Hey lovelies,

I think we all know it and experience it these days - change brings up challenges.
And stirs up conflicting parts.
Some parts who seek and long for change.
Others who resist, dig their heels in, grieve, fight.

Sometimes change is a state of contraction leading to expansion.
The inner tension before the resolution.
The birth pains. 
We may not even know we're in birthing pains until after.
How often do we look back on the breakup, the job ending, the move and find that it led us in a direction of more growth and more aliveness? 

I'm having a weird relationship with this newsletter. My instincts guide me differently this time.  I don't know when this writing is done. I lose my thread and point. I've rewritten this whole thing probably 4 times. 

Something new gives me pause. I trust that pause to evolve with clarity over time, but it's murky in the moment. In the meantime, I feel the urge to connect with you, those of you who open and read this. Those of you who might need support in this season of life. Those of you who contemplate these times, who sense into relationships of all kinds. 

As you probably know, I offer emotional help and energetic help - ways for you to grow emotionally and connect to your deeper, powerful self. These tools are gentle, loving and welcoming of all parts of you, holistic, with deep systemic results. See below for links to what I offer and to schedule a free session with me.

With love for the journey and the changing and the growing,
Marta

A bit about change that inspired me:
From Wendy May a few weeks ago:
"We need to change the way we move in the world, from the inside out.

Too many are in power without any purpose, save their own survival and self-perpetuation. And they are causing damage to collective thriving.

Too many who are called by purpose are languishing in fear or confusion, unsure how to inhabit personal power without colluding with a broken system.

I'm so tired of this shit. It's so expired, and so rotten. I can't stand it.

I am tired of seeing executives of billion dollar corporations (as well as politicians running billion dollar corporations disguised as governments), big egos enchanted by the lure of power over others, entitled elites controlling all the means of production and exchange, engaged in extraction from the shared planetary resources, padding individuals' wallets while holding up fragile identities.

I want those who are heart-led, soul deep, and divinely guided, living with higher purpose as their North Star, to stop avoiding the vehicles and vessels of energy in the manifested physical realm (as a trauma response to the abuse and misuse we've seen).  Rather I want us to learn to move with the spiritual wisdom we have gained, to infuse every movement with this deeper guidance.

I want to see us leading and creating in new ways, returning to our natural state of abundance through interdependence....   In Power, On Purpose. 

Holistic Purpose

I see you, and your big heart, and passion for the world. I see the social constraints, the challenge of sharing your gifts, the rejections, the worry about the bottom line, the fear of the marketplace. All sorts of social pressures of conformity but be unique. The clouds of fear that we live and breathe without even knowing it. 

This world disorients and ungrounds us.

And so you are determined to do your best, to contribute - whether that is through an awesome local bike shop, making great music that touches people's hearts and souls, healing you and your ancestors and those around you, teaching writing/music/dance/art, connecting with the bright spark of children, a zero waste grocery store.

And then, sometimes, in an effort to live out our purpose, we accidentally ignore internal concerns, like:

• procrastination

• "self sabotage" 

• inner criticism

• fear and anxiety

• shut down/dissociation

• "comfort now" parts taking over 

• burnout

• What else is missing from this list in your experience?

What if these are all parts of us, that have valid concerns, that wave the flag to get our attention? 

Listening to these signals of distress leads to healing and inner coherence.

We can tend ourselves. We can repair, in groups, in witnessing, in support, in bringing our own Self energy to our inner parts. In bringing the magnified group Self energy to each of us.

As healing progresses, parts either fade in their intensity or come to agreement with the big goals and gifts for your life, and how to manifest them in the world. 

Side note -I love this article by Wendy May about manifestation:
"Manifestation is not about making something happen; manifestation is about making something apparent. Before it got co-opted as a trendy new age technique for manipulating reality to our liking, manifestation in its purest form was about revealing reality as it exists already."

[Wendy May also has a book about Regenerative Purpose and I borrow that phrase from her.] 

Blessings for your big heart,
Love,
marta

Tending our spirits

Dear ones ~
How are you doing? How are you tending to yourself, to your soul, to your deep needs? How do you connect to your soul and spirit?

When I connect to my soul/spirit, I find joy and enthusiasm for the opportunity to be alive and experience all sorts of stuff in this physical body.

Many days, parts of me are not so sure about that enthusiasm, and these last few days have been rocky.

I'd like to have that true enthusiasm for life at the forefront of my life, and I'm angling in this direction. When I truly connect to that essence in me, it's so tangible, and so helpful, and such a good reminder that in some form, I chose to come here at this time, in this place, in this body. 

For some people, the concept that we chose to come here does not land well. And that makes sense - when we're in the middle of trauma, or recovering from long interwoven traumas, that sentiment can feel awful. It might feel shaming or blaming - like one chose this life, this suffering?

Feel free to take this idea or discard it or give it the finger. 
(My 8 year old son is really into swearing these days. So Much Swearing in our house! I'm welcoming his swearing parts and we parents keep talking (at him?) about when and where swearing might be ok at this time in his life - mostly anytime in our house, not so welcome with many friends families....Welcoming his parts, and welcoming my parenting parts!)