December Hangovers

How are you faring, keeping your heart protected, yet soft and loving, yet engaged with what the world asks of us now?

For me, depression has risen to the surface. I don’t usually experience depression, though I’ve noticed it as a January experience for several years in a row. I have theories…

For example, the boomerang of excess in December, to our cultural norm of austerity in January.

Plus of course, less sunlight, less movement.

Our bodies ask for rest and renewal at this time of year, polarized with our cultural expectation of keep going, never stop.

And the intensity of the world is bringing so many ugly and painful things to the surface externally, it seems that many buried things in me are coming to the surface as well.

There’s a generous side to this December hangover - it brings to the surface our shadows, our baseline imbalances, our depths that ask for help. The roots of our shadows are accessible.

I’m finding this time very fruitful in energy work. I’ve had a number of days in a row of waking with fatigue, one day I was so foggy I felt that I needed to go right back to bed. But instead, in choosing energy work, I’m realizing that the fogginess and tiredness are signals, getting my attention for deep needs. Each day I release more and feel more free and more excited about life.

I invite you to join me in a week of energy healing - Winter Light - for releasing fatigue, depression and grief. In these group experiences, we can cover so much more territory in 7 days than in individual sessions, and more affordable than my private 1:1 rate.

While we all may need to grieve our current human condition, this energy healing week will help the grief move and release gently, and we can dissolve some of the griefs built up through the centuries of your soul lives and ancestral burdens.

Many of the griefs are ready to release without conscious awareness - this group experience is excellent for these buried grief energies.

However you choose to move through these tender and intense days, I wish love for you and for you to be held in deep care. We all need help right now, and may you find just the support and connection you need!

Perfectionism and Precision

Intention: to release perfectionist energies and move towards precision and high standards, with remembering and feeling our human connection and love and support at the forefront. 

What's the difference between perfectionism and precision?

Short answer - perfectionism limits and constrains while precision inspires and focuses.

And why would this topic be relevant now in December, such a busy time of year? 
Well, our patterns get highlighted when stress levels rise. Which makes them more obvious, which then also helps us address them!

I remember when a music colleague first called me a perfectionist - maybe 20 years ago - and I was shocked. I seriously thought I was just doing what everyone needed to do to do their best. 

This is so common in people I work with - we think we're just doing what's expected and normal. But really, our commitment to perfection as an essential goal + an Inner Critic that goes wild when “mistakes” happen = perfectionism. 

It is normal to encounter perfectionism in our culture. That doesn't mean it's good for us on the physical, mental, emotional, or soul levels! 

We can aim towards precision and high achievement, while finding more balance internally. Here are some differences between the two:

>>Perfectionism would have us believe that we can be safer, receive love and connection, get the good award if and when we are perfect. Our worth relies on being perfect and being received as perfect. Perfectionism turns to our Inner Critics and other people's critics as the arbiters of merit.

>>With precision, there can be a high standard for results, but your innate worth is not dependent upon the results.

Precision can be seen as a Divine Masculine quality, launching the arrow with focus and intention into the bullseye.

We all have feelings come up when we don't hit the mark, but with precision, there is growth in moving through the feelings. 
Not achieving the desired result is information, a chance for learning, direct feedback about your skills or preparation or intentions and more. It's an opportunity to surrender to bigger energies, an opening to trust. 

With perfectionism, the feelings become a commitment to double down, get it perfect next time, an effort to avoid these terrible feelings ever again. 

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Perfectionism in creative and high intensity environments

This topic is on my mind as I enter the classical music world again after quite a few years. I'm one of the rehearsal pianists for a wonderful opera production, filled with loving and high achieving people. It's glorious to be showered with these voices and making music together!

AND I notice my perfectionism grooves showing up. Plus there's perfectionism in the air, as the training for classical music has a lot of distortion in its quest for high standards.

So many layers that contribute to perfectionism!

I've been energetically tending to all the many layers that contribute to perfectionism - releasing:
- good girl programming/ people pleasing
- solar plexus collapse (our center of power!)
- self worth based upon other people's opinions
- nervous system balancing
- cording and attachments bringing tension to my body, throat and shoulders
- soul level lifetimes when mistakes lead to disasters. 

Inviting in:

- balance between Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies
- creativity and flow
- permission for enjoyment and trust
- sharing love fields to everyone involved.

Addressing perfectionism is not a quick and easy fix. As you can see, a lot contributes to this issue. It permeates our society! It's everywhere! And so often our work or family cultures reinforce the perfectionist way of being, rather than the human, relational shared goals of precision with kindness and connection way of being.

The deeper we address these issues, the more magic unfolds. Perfectionism becomes the trailhead of healing childhood, untangling social programming and cultural norms, addressing ancestral and past lives as well. This one thing can blossom into relief and growth in so many areas of your life!

When stress levels are up, and perfectionism is one of your coping strategies, Inner Artist sessions can help.

If you’re new to Inner Artist sessions, you can either start with a free 30 minute Discovery Call, or you can dive right into an hour session.

One person called Inner Artist sessions “therapy on steroids.” There’s room for talking and feeling into what’s coming up. Your intuitions, knowings, and body sensations are key. And energy work helps move and release the feelings and energies faster and gently.

While Inner Artist sessions are good for anyone, I specialize in working with highly sensitive people and creatives. I get what it’s like to feel overwhelmed all the time and the need to hide from the world, or the need to hide your true self. And this issue of perfectionism + Inner Critic runs strong for sensitive and creative folks - the criticisms and mean energies in the world burn through in a deeper way for you and your heart.

I’m in this with you, for releasing perfectionism and connecting to the deeper truth of our gifts, inherent self worth, and inner compass aimed towards beauty and love.

With love to each of you,

Marta

Soul-level

How is your heart, dear one?

You, as a sensitive soul, may be noticing depth and feelings more than ever. Which has always been true, but now we’re at magnification levels because of intensity and change in personal and macro ways.

In recent weeks I’ve been addressing some of the deep soul level beliefs in me regarding hope, or rather the lack of hope.

This showed up with tremendous despair and feelings of “not this again” and “I’ll never get out from under this”. As I released through it, so much transformed, and incredible newness is taking root.

Among many gifts - I’m way less entangled with any drama, and feeling more natural hope and resilience.

These types of soul-level beliefs are imprints from other lives lived, with circumstances and happenings strong enough that they still want some attention to resolve.

Addressing such longstanding despairs and hopelessness opens possibility in magic ways. We learn that despair and depression are not our natural state, we find it’s a lens through which we’ve been viewing life. The heaviness, the tiredness, the locked out and numbed out state might be connected to things far beyond this lifetime.

And the cool thing is that we can address those things! We can find the soul-level nuggets that are so ready to transform, release, and even alchemize into gifts.

Setting an intention to find and release these is one way. Your path might lead you to just the healer or guide or medicine you need. Or asking for help in dreams. Or going into meditation and asking to be shown the place that needs attention.

There’s so much we can do with our intention, our power, our confidence. And of course, if you need help, I’m here, as are many other wonderful healers to assist you in your next blossoming!

The Love Within

Beloved,

I was laying in bed in the middle of the night, not sleeping, and mulling this word beloved.

BE-LOVED. What a beautiful way to see and use this word.

My wish is that we all know this intimately - BE-LOVED, from the inside.

Additionally, my wish is for each one of us to become radically empowered, pouring forth our love and gifts on and towards the world.

✨Shining art, beauty, and love towards the grief, pain and hate that’s so visible.
💚Not letting your heart become brittle and bitter by the endless traumas that have been going on forever, but are in our faces now, every day.
💥Stepping fully into your zones of genius.

🌷 My work and offering >>> to help you, me, and everyone heal so much that we grow and expand into refreshed, renewed, upleveled selves. To remember  the deep truth of who you really are.

Finding your ways to move through life with POWER rather than FORCE. Power is our innate humanness, gifted with creativity, problem solving, a soft heart, connection, compassion, and appropriate boundaries.

Force uses domination and coercion.

Let’s evolve ourselves away from force into our beautiful POWER.

Upcoming offering:
The Love Within
Ever-renewing Self Love

Sunday, October 26th
3 pm eastern// 12 pm pacific // 8 pm london

Co-leading with Earl Hawkins

Sliding scale - minimum $10 contribution

Register for The Love Within

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Next Energy Intensive - COURAGE: for your heart, from your heart, of your heart. Coming soon!

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May we all know and feel deep love on all levels, and that all beings on earth and in the cosmos know and experience this radical love as well.

💛💛💛💛💛💛

Marta

A lot of not-knowing, a lot of possibility

Dear ones, 
I wrote this yesterday while in a very tender space:
I'm sitting here wondering what to do with my time. My son is at camp. I have space to address my to-do list. To get on with the tasks. Yet nothing feels exactly right. So I read this beautiful letter, that has some beautiful art, and musings that hit the note for me.

From Kathleen:
But we’ll notice too, that not knowing and even letting a construct of the whole world fall into the space of question - while uncomfortable - we’re still okay. Who we are in essence doesn’t actually require all those explanations.

In the space uncertainty opens up, more of who we really are, floods in. It can, it has more room.

This has been my experience lately. 
A lot of not-knowing, with a lot of discomfort, and incredible magnificence at the same time. 
Fierce and wonderful boundaries take shape that redraw my daily life. 
Immense grief of lifetimes, of present, of past, of intergalatic levels ravages me at times. 
Incredible brilliant energy floods me at times. Sometimes while I'm grieving, sometimes just living daily life, sometimes in meditation.
Energy work is speeding up. I am meeting with peers and it seems we can share our gifts. I've asked to download what they show me is possible, and what's appropriate for me. In response, my energy healing sessions are speeding up, and we cover so much more territory. Intergalatic in fact. 

That fills me with excitement! So much is possible right now! 
"The Sky's the Limit"...yes, and the sky stretches into vast spaces beyond our human sight. 

It feels awkward to transition this into sharing about my class, Revitalize. And yet, it might be just the thing that helps you in this time of the world's transition.
And goodness knows, we all need a lot of care in these times. 

Maybe you're like me and noticing the cracks in so many things, and ready for something new. 
Perhaps help to know yourself and your inner parts in a new way.
Perhaps help from energy work and the woowoo that keeps expanding possibilities. 

This is one way we can explore together. We can also simply intend our hearts and consciousness join forces in new ways that we don't know about yet. You can request the universe/God/Source send just the thing you need to move forward from this fracturing, expanding, rebuilding, grieving, and not-knowingness.

There's space for one more to join the small group of 6. We start Tuesday. 
Revitalize

With big love, my from my heart to yours,
Marta

Woo helps the manager parts

{As you maybe know, in Internal Family Systems, there are 3 general categories of inner parts:

• Managers - thinking, planning, analyzing, executing parts;

• Firefighters - looking for pleasure, comfort, and relaxation - may involve, drugs, sex, scrolling, binging, eating, sleeping;

• Exile parts - holding the deepest wounds, but also most connected to innocence, freedom, inspiration, divine realms

And Self energy - our Soul essence, the truest deepest quality of who we are.}

Our manager parts hold the most skepticism, grown-up-ness, and separation from magic, fantasy, and anything to do with the woowoo world. 

This isn't true for all people of course. Perhaps your manager parts are full on for the woo.

But if you hold skepticism, it usually rests with the managers.
If you think you "know better", that's manager code for their big thinking brains. 

Which makes sense. It's wise to have some parts of us that need proof. That need convincing. That need a reason to trust. 

There's ton of charlatans out there, trying to convince you of this, that, and the other.
There's tons of well meaning people trying to convince you, but what they offer is not actually helpful.
There's lots of people who have wonderful ways to help, but they may not be right for you at this time. 

One of the greatest gifts our managers bring is discernment.

Thank you manager parts!!

AND.
Our manager parts are so exhausted. 
The doing, the planning, the executing. 
The thinking through, the analysis, the discernment. 
Protection from the charlatans, assessing right fit, making choices.
Plus you're working a job, you have kids, you have bills, you have a home and land to tend to.

So, so very much on the plate of our manager parts. 
Whew!

If you're feeling this, can you shine some love towards your manager parts? They love this! They want to feel appreciated and seen!

One way to help lighten their load - invite them to the woo.

Bringing Woo to our Manager Parts - July 16th

 In this free class, we're connecting with our managers, feeling them, acknowledging how they work for you, we're shining love on them. 

 And then, I'll be tuning into the energy level, inviting you to do the same, and addressing deep layers. 

Perhaps we'll address the indoctrination to work hard. Hard work = salvation. Hard work = how we get respect and recognition. 

Perhaps perfectionism. If we're perfect, then we can't get hurt. If we're perfect then we'll get the reward. 

Perhaps the belief that they alone can run the show. 

Perhaps we'll address looping patterns that keep us critical of ourselves, critical of everyone around us, keeping us blaming the other. 

Perhaps addressing the belief that we must know how before taking steps, we must have a plan before moving forward. 

We don't know exactly what will come up until we're together, but I have a feeling it will be powerful. 

Register here. 
Live and recorded. 

Bringing Woo to our Manager Parts
Wed July 16th
6 pm CDT

With love for the journey,
Marta